I should have a 9-week-old curled up next to my 8-year-old this Mother’s Day. That’s really hard to acknowledge. Last year at Mother’s Day, I had no idea that the cycle I was starting would lead to pregnancy and then miscarriage. After 5 years of waiting for that pregnancy to come, I had given up and accepted that it just wasn’t meant to be. We’d be a family of 3, I was grateful for that, and I moved on.

This year, Mother’s Day is different.

Photo by Josh Adamski on Unsplash

I’m so incredibly grateful for the beautiful daughter I have, but I do mourn the baby we’ve lost. It doesn’t make me ungrateful… it makes me a mother. Child at home or not – miscarriage still means motherhood on this side of heaven – it means a baby is part of the family… we just don’t get to raise that baby.

Or in some of your cases: babies.

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This post contains affiliate links at the very end for your convenience. These same products are probably available in your local community; however, if you’re like I was while waiting for a miscarriage to begin, online shopping from the comfort of your home may be your friend.

When I went through my miscarriage, I was extremely blessed to have a best friend who was able to walk me through everything… from what to expect, to what I’d need, to serving as a doula via texting when I reached the most active peak of the miscarriage and felt like I was about to split open. I was blessed, but not everyone has that person. Many women go through this feeling alone, or ashamed, and turn to the internet for advice. In my case, I was told the baby’s heart stopped beating more than three weeks before the miscarriage actually began, so I had a long time period to gather what I needed as I waited. Not every woman experiences this wait. Some are blindsided by the heavy bleeding and sudden loss. If you found your way to this post because you have been told you will miscarry and are waiting for it to begin, I’m so sorry. I know first hand that the wait is agony. I hope this post is helpful, but I also hope you find the community you need so you don’t have to walk through this alone.

The items I’m going to mention today were extremely useful for me. If you have been through miscarriage, you may have some additional suggestions and I would love if you shared those in the comments.

PicJumbo.com

10 Essentials for Surviving A Miscarriage

1.) Leak-Proof Water Bottle: The more hydrated you are, the better blood flow you’ll have. The last thing you want is for this whole event to last longer than it needs to. I think mine went as smooth and quickly as it did because I took my friend’s advice and drank a ton of water in the weeks of waiting for my miscarriage to begin. Make sure you have a good, leak-proof water bottle because when you are in bed going through contractions, you may not want to deal with a cup and risk spilling it. I kept a water bottle in the bed with me so I could easily grab it and stay hydrated in between each contraction. At one point, I was clutching it against my chest…

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When I sat down in January and thought about what my blog content for 2017 would look like, this much loss was nowhere near my list. 2017 as a whole has been a weird year of grief for me.

1. My beloved cat Vesta passed away in May. What an awful day that was. Making the decision to give her eternal sleep was the most difficult choice I’ve ever made…

2. I lost my miracle pregnancy after five years of waiting. No words…

3. I’m currently watching my dog Lily struggle with the tumors on her leg, and it feels like it’s only going to get worse from here. She’s a ticking time bomb as I wait for the day where I have to make the decision yet again. I am certain it will be before Christmas…

What’s that saying? Death occurs in threes? I’m not one for superstition, but this pattern seems to be set for 2017.

So this brings us to the real question at hand. How am I doing after my miscarriage?

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