I’ve been pretty quiet on the blog space lately as we’ve navigated our 5th pregnancy loss. The last 3 months have been filled with therapy sessions, time frames of deleting social media off my phone, praying, saying goodbye to ministry responsibilities, and reading. It’s been hard but it’s had some good moments, too.
In terms of reading, I’ve been plowing through some books and have been loving it. It’s been a while since I’ve read books for myself because I work in book publishing, so by the time the day is over, the last thing I want to do is read more books. But lately I’ve had a hunger for it. A craving. But I haven’t wanted to read just anything. I’ve been reading books that are helping me navigate grief so that I can come out on the other side feeling whole again.
These are the five books that have helped me navigate my 5th pregnancy loss. Not every book is focused on pregnancy loss. Some are just on grief in general, which was just as helpful as the ones on pregnancy loss. If you’re in a season of grieving after loss, I hope you consider reading them, too. They are all faith-based, which in my opinion, makes them the best fit for this season.
This post contains affiliate links, which means if you purchase from an Amazon link I share, I receive a small commission. It doesn’t cost you anything extra, but helps support my family.
“Suffering Is Never for Nothing” by Elisabeth Elliot
I finished this book in 5 days, reading 1-2 chapters a day. Elisabeth Elliot went through so much hardship in her life, including the death of two husbands. She was filled with words of wisdom and this book is just one of many that captures who she was. It’s definitely one I will read again and again. This line stood out to me:
“There is, in fact, no redemptive work done anywhere without suffering.”-Elisabeth Elliot, Suffering Is Never for Nothing
How true, right? I wish I could have had coffee with her before she passed away. Her words spoke to my soul. This book isn’t an unhelpful motivational speech. It’s real, it’s raw, it’s Biblical. It’s super helpful for anyone going through a season of suffering.
“Angel Wings: A Story of Love, Faith, Infertility, Surrogacy, and Not Giving Up Hope” by Stephanie O’Hara
I finished this 216-page memoir in 24 hours. I couldn’t put it down. It felt like the author took a blog and put it into a book, and I loved it. Reading up on her, I knew how it would end, but I found myself cheering her on as her story unfolded, which is something I needed. I also found myself in tears a few times as she described her multiple miscarriages, including one that happened while in church. I felt devastated for her. Miscarrying outside the home is something I’ve experienced and it’s traumatic. I expected this book to be a big trigger for me. I started reading it feeling apprehensive and wondering if this was a good idea, but by the end I was so glad I read it. This was a woman who absolutely deserved her miracles and I am so glad she got to experience it through surrogacy.
“God Is Able” by Priscilla Shirer
A friend told me this book was life-changing and she was right. It sat on my bookshelf for a few years and then suddenly the red spine jumped out at me, begging to be considered. I picked it up, read the back cover, and it was an easy YES. Of course, in typical me fashion, I finished it within a few days. I LOVED it. Priscilla Shirer is just amazing. She’s been one of my absolute favorite Bible teachers for a long time. This is a book that I definitely plan to re-read.
“Just because God can doesn’t mean He will. But just because He hasn’t doesn’t mean He won’t.”-Priscilla Shirer, God Is Able
“Held: 31 Biblical Reflections on God’s Comfort and Care in the Sorrow of Miscarriage” by Abbey Wedgeworth
This is a brand new book that released on September 1, 2020 and I had pre-ordered it around the two-month anniversary of our 5th pregnancy loss. As soon as I finished God Is Able, I dug in immediately. What I love so much about it is the Biblical truth she presents without being so preachy. Goodness, this is a resource that has been needed for Christians for decades. Abbey does an amazing job keeping it real yet Biblical. She shares her own experience with miscarriage, which definitely helps you feel less alone as you read it. I started this simultaneously to the next book I’ll talk about. I found myself constantly wanting to read ahead, but I made myself slow down because this book is meant to last you one month. If you know someone who has had a miscarriage and don’t know what to say, this is the gift to give them.
“Job” Bible Study by Lisa Harper
This is a 7-week, video-led Bible study that I am still going through with a dear friend at the time of this blog post going live. It’s designed to be a women’s small group study. Unfortunately, I was going to have to do it alone. I held onto this study in hopes of doing it when it released two years ago and then it never happened. Thankfully, a friend stepped up and said “I’ll do it with you” and I am so glad. What a blessing it has been!
“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them.”-Matthew 18:20 (CSB)
Obviously the book of Job in the Bible is all about trusting God through immense hardship, and that’s a message I have needed more than anything lately. I’ve been angry at God for allowing so much pregnancy loss to happen when I know He’s also capable of doing miracles. Walking through this study of Job is helping me manage those feelings and remember that I am not alone in hardship. Going through the study with a friend makes a huge difference as well. So if you’re wanting to do this study, I highly recommend you get a friend or two together and just go for it. It doesn’t have to be a formal gathering. You absolutely do NOT have to do it through a church. Just do it! You won’t regret it. The lesson videos are available on LifeWay.com for rent or purchase.
BONUS: The She Reads Truth Bible
I had to share my favorite Bible! We’re a family who collects Bibles. That happens when you work for a Christian publishing company. 😉 But in all seriousness, we love our Bibles. We love all kinds of Bibles. But the She Reads Truth Bible… my favorite. It’s so beautiful and I quite like the feminine touch on it. So if you happen to be in the market for a new Bible, this is the one I recommend the most right now. It’s not over-complicated with a ton of notes, but I find it has just the right amount for what I need. It comes in various cover treatments and colors. And honestly, I find that it’s super affordable!
I hope this list is helpful to you if you’re navigating pregnancy loss or know someone who is. It’s a rough and lonely season. I know what you’re going through. And I know that sometimes people don’t know what to say so they go radio silent and pretend like nothing happened. I know that sometimes you’re stuck having to navigate your grief on your own. These books are a great place to start, and I hope you find them as helpful as I did. I’m here if you need to talk.