The act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment
Restitution of something taken away or lost
Something that is RESTORED, as by RENOVATING
My first post in this restoration series for 2018 is all about something very tangible… it’s anxiety-inducing, exciting, and overwhelming. There are so many emotions surrounding this event because it is something we’ve been talking about doing for years, and just never pulled the plug. We’ve spent hours on Pinterest and have watched way too much Fixer Upper to get to this point.
Our house is 28 years old and we’ve lived in it for nine years. Both bathrooms leave something to be desired, but the master bathroom is hardly what anyone would consider a master bathroom. It’s small, and the way it was originally configured was very inconvenient. It’s been prone to mold, feels cramped, and is definitely showing its age. Over time we’ve painted it a few times, changed out the shower curtain, and switched out the fixtures, but we’ve developed a major need to renovate it. We have decided that it’s beyond cosmetic updates at this point…
We are demolishing and restoring it.
When something is old and nasty, there is only so much covering up you can do. When mold just won’t seem to go away, you have to do something different to destroy it so it doesn’t come back. Scraping it off the surface and applying a shiny coat of fresh paint doesn’t fix the problem. It’s like when you have a deep, dark pain that plagues you and you try to cover it up with surface-level changes, but it’s so deeply rooted within that it continues to rear its ugly head. You can’t cover it up. You have to purge and destroy the darkness, then you can restore your soul.
You knew this act of restoration was rooted much deeper than a physical transformation, didn’t you?
Here’s the honest truth:
When I was recently pregnant, I felt a deep need to get the bathroom renovation going. I knew that I didn’t want to bring a baby home until it was done because it was a nasty space that I hated… and renovating with a newborn in the house was out of the question, so I knew we had to do this soon.
And then when I miscarried, the hatred for that bathroom multiplied.
That bathroom is where I sat in the floor and wept over failed fertility treatments, over negative pregnancy tests, over my barren womb. That bathroom is where I had to stick myself with needles for months in hopes of achieving a pregnancy that never came. That bathroom is where I said goodbye to my baby. That bathroom has seen so many dark times. When I walk in, I see all these things.
In 2018, we want to restore our home in a few different ways, and this project is only the beginning. I want to physically restore my bathroom and redeem it of its past. I want to restore my love for our home so I don’t have the itch to move.
And yes, I know that renovating the bathroom won’t protect me from repeat pains. I may miscarry again. I may weep over negative pregnancy tests again. So many bad things can happen again, and I won’t renovate the bathroom every time something happens.
But at least the bathroom won’t be moldy, and it’ll be configured the way I need it to be.
Out with the old, in with the new.
And now, without further adieu… here are pictures of our master bathroom restoration in progress. I’m hoping that my next Restoration post will include pictures of it fully restored! But for now, this is where we’re at:
I can’t wait to show more soon! It is coming alone so well! So far, this project has gone so much smoother than I could have ever imagined.
Even though working with Lowes is pretty painful… and their version of “it’ll come in next week” means “just kidding—it’ll come in at the end of the month.”
Even though I’m going to need to get my duct work professionally cleaned to get rid of the dust.
Even though I’m ready to get all of the boxes of bathroom supplies off my bedroom floor so I can stop stressing out over the mess.
It’s all worth it.
Every spec of dust.
Every dollar spent.
It’s all worth it.