Today, IUI #2 will be in the books! We’re going in this afternoon for the IUI and I’m a big ball of emotions. Yesterday at work, I had to trigger myself. Thankfully, not a lot of people were around since it’s the week of Christmas, but it still felt very awkward to be injecting myself at work. I’m glad that’s over! The trigger shot was just the beginning of the emotional roller coaster.
Here is how I am feeling:
My stomach is in knots as I anxiously await the IUI. Everything has to align perfectly for this to work… from the timing of my egg release, to the quality of the swimmer sample we use, to the timing of inseminating. I’m just anxious. My first IUI was awkward since my cervix wouldn’t cooperate, so now I know what to expect. It can only get easier, right? Right? I’m still anxious. More so because I want this to work…
I’m so grateful that we even made it this far. I can’t even explain how many times since October I thought we’d have to cancel… if it wasn’t poor/slow response, it was worry of over-response or a big fat cyst. In terms of timing, I am grateful that we are able to do this before Christmas. I was worried that I’d have to try to figure out an ultrasound and lab work on Christmas Eve/Day… who wants to do that?! Not me. Thank you, God, for your perfect timing.
I’m entering the Christmas season with so much hope. We won’t know if this took until well after the New Year, and that is fine with me. I will celebrate Christmas and ring in 2016 with nothing but hope. The first full week of January is when we’ll know if this cycle has ended in a yes or no, and I have decided that I will not test early, and I will not test out the trigger shot. I will simply wait for a beta test and hold onto this joy and hope for as long as possible.
I’ll continue to update with how I am doing and what is happening. I’m going to ask about supplementing with progesterone after we do a P4, even if it’s a good result, so that I can carry on my luteal phase a lot longer than last time. Starting a new cycle at 10dpIUI is not okay. The fact that I was spotting at 9dpIUI is even worse. I really don’t want a repeat of that moment – I felt like an utter failure and like I couldn’t trust my body. If I can at least make it to beta day without bleeding, I’ll be okay if it’s negative. I mean, I won’t be thrilled by any means, and I’ll be disappointed… but I’ll feel like I at least made it to the finish line without the rug being pulled out from under me.
So that’s where I’m at. Tonight, I am decorating Christmas cookies and will have plenty to keep me distracted. I’ll keep warm and cozy, and will enjoy the next few days celebrating the birth of our savior!