I read a blog post recently from a fellow infertility sister who was sharing her thoughts on what to do when an infertility blog turns into a pregnancy blog. Her post was really good, but then I read some of the comments…
I never learn.
I decided to address this. Some of you are long-time readers… you followed when I was trying to conceive Zoey and are still following today. Some of you are new and probably found this blog because of a google search on “what PCOS feels like” or “how to naturally thicken the uterine lining“. Some of you may have followed back when I was trying to conceive Zoey, left, and then came back because I’m trying again. Either way, I’m so glad you’re here. Let me just say that up front:
I’m so glad you’re here.
Several people quit reading my blog when I got pregnant with Zoey, and that hurt. I didn’t blog daily or even weekly about the pregnancy… it was more monthly. And still, people left. How do I know? I’m a blogger – I know how many subscribers I have. When it backpedals, it’s obvious. The only time I went down instead of up in numbers is after my BFP – literally within a day. The thing I had worked SO hard to accomplish (pregnancy) I finally did, and the sisters who backed me with “baby dust!” and stalked my every post with “keep us posted!” bolted at the first sight of my BFP.
Here’s the thing. I promise to be sensitive to this blog readership if/when I get another BFP. I promise to not post constantly about the pains of pregnancy and what isn’t going well. I promise to be transparent though, and if I am scared, I’m going to write about it because frankly, that is what this blog is for. And I want to support those of you still struggling. We’re a sisterhood. This blog is my life, not just the infertility. I have a miracle daughter who was the result of fertility drugs and a very risky pregnancy that could have resulted in a stillbirth because of my diagnosis… sorry, but I am proud of that. I am proud of her. I am proud to be her mommy. But I’m still hurting because of infertility…
I’m going to ask you straight forward to please stay if I get a BFP. Please stick around. If you have a blog I am reading, I will continue reading when you get pregnant because I WANT you to be pregnant. I WANT you to succeed. I WANT to know there is hope out there and I WANT to see your miracle baby grow up before my eyes. I want all these things for you, ladies.
Please want the same for me.
We’re here to support each other. I know that it is hard to see BFPs when you’re working so hard for yours. The difference between all of those “Oops!” BFPs flooding your Facebook newsfeed and the BFP on my blog is that I worked hard for it just like you. I am still working hard for it, just like you. And when it happens, I will be proud of it, I will feel blessed, and I will share it, just like you should, too. And if I am blessed with a pregnancy that didn’t result in fertility drugs, I’m going to shout it from the rooftops, just like I want YOU to do.
Please stick around.
If you can’t… I’m sorry, but I won’t understand why. I’m on your team – on your side. BFP or not. Remember that I have broken ovaries, too… and a uterus that is not favorable for pregnancy. And if I am blessed with a baby again, I will want to share it with you. I hope you share yours with your readers, too. I shouldn’t be expected to shut down my blog if I get pregnant, like one person has suggested… I’m sorry, but no. That’s like asking someone to quit their job just in case someone at their work sees them pregnant and can’t handle it. This blog isn’t my livelihood right now, but it becoming so is my target.
I promise to be sensitive.
I promise to not over-do it.
But I do plan to share my pregnancy on here when it happens. I won’t promise that it won’t be 1x/week, because it may be. It may be every other week or even monthly. Either way, I plan to celebrate the pregnancy on this blog.
I ask that you stick around and continue to join me on my journey. Infertility is hard. Trying to conceive is hard. Pregnancy is hard. Motherhood is hard. It’s all hard. And yet, they all have little blessings in their midst. Even infertility… these 3.5 years of trying to give Zoey a sibling resulted in 3.5 more years of just the 3 of us. The trial of trying to conceive Zoey resulted in extra time with my husband as just the 2 of us.
Little blessings everywhere, I tell you.
Anyway, please stick around. That’s all I ask. I want to share with you and I want to continue to connect with you. This blog is my journey of conquering infertility, but also my journey of embracing motherhood. It’s the goal we all have together, right? We all want to get pregnant – that’s likely why you’re here right now. You probably want to connect with someone who understands. Please know that just because I get pregnant, it doesn’t mean I’ve crossed over to the dark side and no longer understand. I’m still infertile, pregnancy or not. I still have PCOS, pregnancy or not.
After all, if we’re going to be sending “baby dust” to each other and then bolt at the first sign of an infertile sister’s BFP, what’s the point?