This post is in response to the last four months of cryptic “I’m waiting for something to happen” posts. Sorry, haha. It’s finally here! When you’re done with this post, be sure to read about my fears with this new transition over at Liberating Working Moms.
Have you ever felt like a transition is needed in your life?
I have this end goal in sight – this “dream job” if you will – to open a preschool within my church’s new (to us) building. I talked about it in a post over at LWM.
In order to do that though, we have a lot of hurdles to overcome, including raising enough funds for a playground, which in itself can take quite a while. As in 5-7 years at least. So in the meantime, I’ve been praying about what God will have for me next. I’ve spent the last three-and-a-half years in a job I thoroughly enjoyed and grew a lot in, but since last July, something has been nagging on me. This feeling of I don’t belong here. Something’s not right. It actually started around the time we came back from our beach vacation.
For a long time, I was convinced that the preschool would be my next job change. It had to be. I was going to stay where I’m at now until that time came. I started to feel more and more out of place at work and realized that I wasn’t supposed to stay. That was a tough pill to swallow, especially after all this time of thoroughly enjoying about 90% of the days at work. Between the people and the environment, I was happy. For a while, I really was. And honestly, this isn’t really about happiness as much as it is longing to feel like I am spending every workday of my life doing something I love.
In October, I realized that something big was coming, a transition. I started praying that something would happen, that something would change, that a transition would come that would take me towards this dream job that has been placed on my heart. In those prayers, I never stopped to think that God would reveal something that would be my “second dream job”. That is what He did when He revealed a marketing position for a publisher I respect highly. At that time, I wasn’t looking for another job. I wasn’t on the hunt at all. I just knew something wasn’t right and that a change was coming, but God had to be clear on what that meant. I had no clue. I remember specifically praying, “okay, God, you’re going to have to be specific in what you have for me because I am not on the job hunt, so if you want me to leave, you need to make it clear and obvious.”
He made it clear.
At the end of 2013, I knew that I needed to check with this specific company and apply, so I did. Anxiously. Admittedly, very sadly. There was a moment of, “what are you thinking?” before I hit submit. But I knew… I just knew I had to go for this. I applied and honestly made myself forget about it.
Fast forward to early January. Let me preface this by saying that I had lunch with a friend from church on this particular day and I was telling her that I felt like there was somewhere I was supposed to go between the job I have now and the preschool starting. It was weighing heavily on me but I admitted to her that I had no idea what that meant. That afternoon, the call happened. I should also mention that I am that person who won’t answer the phone for a number I don’t recognize. I always let it go to voice mail. This time, however, I felt an urge to answer.
I am so glad I did.
After a great phone interview, we set an in-person interview for the following week. I was terrified. I remember sitting in my kitchen floor, fighting back tears, heart racing, sweating. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Then the reality set in that this might not be it. I was so scared of setting myself up for failure, for disappointment. I wanted this so badly, but I was conflicted. My heart raced for days. My mind was cloudy and I couldn’t sleep.
I walked in and immediately felt like I was at home. Where I belong. Again, while this was incredibly amazing, it was also very difficult for me. Maybe I need to learn to better separate business from personal, but to me, this was about to be very personal. Leaving a job always makes me feel like I am letting someone down. Always. In this case, an entire team of people.
After the awesome interview in January, things got really quiet. I was emailing back and forth with the marketing manager over the next couple of months, when she was finally able to invite me to come back in early April for a coffee meeting. I was thrilled, to say the least. Once again, the interview went really well and I was reminded once again how much I wanted this job. By the end of the interview, I was invited back for a third interview with some more of the management team the following week. After things were so quiet from January to April, it started to pick up momentum, but I refused to allow myself to think this was really happening. After the third in-person interview, I had another phone interview with another member of the management team.
By this point, I had taken part in two phone interviews and three in-person interviews for one job.
After the fifth round, I had one more final round of meeting with HR and another person with the company who has the same job I applied for, but under a different division. It gave me an opportunity to really ask questions and dig deep into what the day-to-day expectation is for someone in that role. The questions from HR were more about character than anything, and I still didn’t think anything of it.
Then, at the end of last week, I got the call that would change my life.
Six interviews later…
My last day at my current job is May 23 and my first day at the new second dream job is June 2.
This particular division is getting started from the ground up with no internal processes in place yet. It’s a blank canvas just waiting for the right team to come in and create something great. This is going to be amazing.
While I’m incredibly (so so very) sad to be closing out the last three-and-a-half years, I am also really excited to move forward with this transition in life. Obviously, I needed this. Big time. If we can’t have another baby, this will at least keep me occupied for a while.
Someday I’ll be the director of a preschool, but until then, I’ll be in my second dream job helping pastors and missionaries change lives.