As the years of trying to conceive a 2nd child go by, I have realized just how much infertility the 2nd time around is very different from the first time around. Both are hard. Both leave you with a lot of questions and uncertainty. Both are a struggle of trying, failing, lab work, trying again, failing again, more lab work. While they’re so very similar in a big picture view, it has been a lot harder the 2nd time around for me personally. Here are 5 ways that infertility the 2nd time around has been different in my life and may be in yours as well.
The other day at work while on my lunch break, I was looking at different pregnancy announcements online, just for the fun of it. I already know exactly what I’m going to do
if when the time comes, but it was fun to just sit and look at all of the ideas other families have come up with, especially the ones involving the first child. My favorites, of course, are the ones involving little girls about Zoey’s age. Oh, and pets. Pet announcements are the best!
Then I had this overwhelming sense come over me, like a soft blanket. My heart was pounding, and I could literally hear the words “it’s going to happen.”
It’s going to happen.
It’s going to happen.
It’s. Going. To. Happen.
I’ve never felt so sure.
I wanted to share with you all this article on Christian artist Natalie Grant and her struggle with infertility and depression. Take a moment to read it because I guarantee you can relate. Infertility can hit anyone, it doesn’t matter if you’re just an average woman like me, or an award-winning artist.
The first time I heard her story was at work. She did an acoustic set for us and she shared her journey from the “you only have 1% chance of conceiving” diagnosis, to the injectables (76 shots, to be exact) she used to get pregnant with her twins. Oh, and guess what? Later she conceived naturally. So much for that 1% chance, huh? It just shows that God is bigger than our statistics. Bam.
In 5 months, I will be down in sunny Florida at Disney World, watching my five-year-old squeal in delight as she dines with her favorite princesses, dresses up in costumes to party with Mickey Mouse, and inhales her very first Dole whip. I’m so looking forward to this trip like nobody’s business. My inner child will unleash like a beast!
But it also means that in 5 months, I’ll [hopefully] be in my last cycle before we start the next level of fertility treatment, which will look like some kind of injectible medicine (likely Follistim) and an IUI.
Can I be completely honest for a moment?
Ladies, listen up.
It’s time we talked about what we’re putting on our pits. But first, a little science lesson:
To those suffering infertility this mother’s day…
I know you. You’re pacing the bathroom as you wait to see if two pink lines will pop up on that home pregnancy test. Even though you’ve been walking this same walk month after month for over a year, a couple of years, or several years, it feels the same every time you dip that “internet cheapie” into that pale yellow urine. You take a deep breath, dip the test, count to 10 (just in case the suggested 6 seconds isn’t long enough), then gently lay the test down on the packaging the test came in. You’re shaking. You’re nervous. You look at yourself in the mirror and say things like “it’s going to be negative, so why do I bother?” “Did I even ovulate?” “Is this too soon? Maybe I should have waited.”
Then there it is. Test number 76… negative. But who’s keeping count?
Please note: All opinions are my own. This product review was not the result of a marketing campaign and I did not receive anything free to conduct this review. This is simply my way of sharing something with you that I truly love and hope you will, too!
Several years ago, a friend introduced me to mineral makeup and I absolutely loved it. I used every last flake of the sample she gave me before I was left pouting, wishing I had more. Unfortunately, the makeup sample she gave me was priced way outside of my budget for the full-sized containers, so I returned to using drugstore makeup and my trusty coupons from the local newspaper.
Then I was diagnosed with PCOS.
“May the God of hope fill you with all JOY and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
From April 24-26, I was blessed with an opportunity to join 13 other women from my church at the Women of Joy conference in Pigeon Forge, TN. Oh, and about 9,000 other women from all over the world. You know, just a few girlfriends. It wasn’t crowded at all. The masses didn’t make me feel anxious in the least bit. My heart didn’t race every time I walked into the building. I didn’t have to pray every time we pulled into the parking lot that I would keep it together and not pass out.
Aside from the crowds, once I was sitting down in my seat, I was fine. There were a few too many people for my comfort, and it did feel like we were possibly breaking 9,000 fire codes as all 9,000 of us tried to leave the building at the same time. But, I digress.
I am 1 in 8.
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I was going to write something to inspire you all, but then I came across the blog post from Elisha, my fellow sister in Christ, and she said everything so perfectly, so eloquently, I just don’t have anything else to add. There is nothing else I can write to express what this week means to so many of us, because she said it best.
Ladies, please take a moment to go check out the post You Are Not Alone: Flying with Broken Wings Together by Waiting for Baby Bird. She has no idea I’m sending you there… that is, until she reads this. Hi Elisha!
Be inspired. Remember, you are not alone. Your PCOS does not define you!
“Because while this path of infertility has unexpected rain storms and high winds intended to knock you out of your nest and send you to your hands and knees, scraped, bruised, beaten and scarred, there are thousands of others on this same journey, or even a similar journey, ready and willing to pick you up if you fall.”
~Waiting for Baby Bird
Beautiful. Just beautiful.